On the quiet strength of confident shyness. — When I go to a party, I avoid standing in the middle of the room. When I sit at a table with more than five people, I hate being the only person talking. When I meet new people, the vast possibilities of greeting them intimidate me: Should I give them…

We all experience loneliness but still feel ashamed to admit it. Why is that, and what can we do about it? — “I don’t believe the cure for loneliness is meeting someone, not necessarily. …

5 curated lessons on dopamine, pain, and pleasure from Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke. — When I was stuck in a deep rut and YouTube rabbit hole a few months ago, I randomly came across an interview with Dr. Anna Lembke — a psychiatrist, author, and addiction specialist. Unexpectedly, I heard her say something that pierced through my apathetic slumber: “We’ve reached a tipping point…

Sometimes, real growth means giving up on growth. — This year, I had two exam periods that couldn’t have been more different. During the first one, I was highly committed. I had to confront five exams in four days — which included studying the most difficult philosophical text I’d ever read, the entire history of Romance languages, and the…

A deep dive into the neuroscience of loneliness, how social isolation impairs brain function, and what we can do to recover. — Kaboom! Before the young man could realize what he’d done, a tamping rod half his size blasted through his left cheek, exited the top of his skull, and landed a train car’s length away from him. The year was 1848. The place was a railway construction site in Vermont. The…

A story about navigating uncertainty and living the questions. — “Can I be frank?” The lady across from me looked up from the forms in her hand and peeked over the half-moon glasses that throned on her pointy nose. I stared at her like a deer caught in headlights, petrified. After an awkward silence, she allowed herself to proceed. “You…

Save the date for August 12th! I’ll be speaking at 9:30 am, 10:30 am, and 11:30 am ET. — Edit Aug 16, 2023: Thank you to everyone who attended my sessions. It was my absolute pleasure to share some thoughts with you and answer your thoughtful questions. As soon as the replays are available, I’ll share them here with you. Preparing to speak to an audience I’ve only ever…

How an obscure Japanese sentiment changed my relationship to life, death, and letting go. — I try to catch it, I try to save it, I try to control the damage. But it’s too late. The most expensive wine bottle I ever bought is nosediving toward the ground. For the few milliseconds before impact, I find myself in a liminal state between wholeness and destruction…

An unexpected lesson on the good life — courtesy of butlers, painters, and my Portuguese professor. — “Why are some people so much happier than others?” This question didn’t come up in one of my philosophy seminars but, unexpectedly, in Portuguese class. We’d been talking about the pretérito mais-que-perfeito do conjuntivo (the past perfect subjunctive) and had discussed a few examples. My professor said the easiest way…