The Loneliness Loop: Why We Get Stuck in Isolation (and 3 Ways to Break Free)
The sneaky mechanisms of loneliness reveal surprising paths into the spiral of connection.
In early 2022, I found myself in a strange situation.
I had just moved to Portugal, trying to make a living from full-time writing. Behind me lay months of isolation due to the pandemic and years of frustration due to a career I didn’t enjoy. Portugal was my ticket to salvation, connection, and happiness. It was the answer. The secret sauce.
Except… it wasn’t.
I vastly underestimated the situation. As it turned out, writing is a lonely profession. Moving to a foreign country is difficult. And physically relocating your body doesn’t cure the mental repercussions of a pandemic. I experienced unprecedented depths of loneliness.
But you know what was strange? Most of the time, I was around people. I found countless new connections through learning Portuguese, taking surfing lessons, sharing a house with ten other people, joining a co-working space, and rekindling friendships with locals. The door to social connection was wide open. But I couldn’t enter.
One night, particularly, turbo-charged my loneliness.
